get ready, cause this shit is gonna get long. all of the following are either headcanons, info, or just bits and pieces of stuff that happened in peter’s childhood before and following the death of his parents. basically it’s about him being raised by may and ben. ( this also includes the aftermath of ben’s death )

be warned there may be the triggers of : LOVE AND AFFECTION

• before peter lost his parents, he was raised almost by both ben and may + richard and mary. when his parents were gone, peter would stay with his aunt and uncle, sometimes for a few days. basically he was raised around the two of then constantly.
  
• ben was made peter’s godfather the day he was born, followed by may being his godmother, appointed by both of his parents.
• peter was adopted by ben and may when he was four years old. his parents were killed in a car accident ( this isn’t following the comics where they’re secret agents ; richard was an accountant and mary was a nurse ) 
• while he wasn’t too young, peter was young enough to not entirely grasp the death of his parents. he grew up having been told they weren’t coming back, however, life with his aunt and uncle merged almost without a hitch.
• ben struck an interest in science since he worked in a chemical lab at the local hospital in queens. he stemmed peter’s love for physics and science in general.
• peter also picked up on a few hints of italian growing up by working with may in helping her cook and bake. ( honestly, this was his favorite childhood memory )
• the three of them would literally all sit down at the dinner table when peter did homework, just to either help or goof around instead of actually working.
• they totally had family game night where they’d play cheap board games or movie nights where they’d watch old movies that may or ben would pick out ( this is where the love of star wars came in )
• for awhile the couldn’t afford cable or internet, so peter was basically raised on a movie collection held by his uncle ben ( who was OBSESSED with movies ) both cd’s and vcr movies cause ben is old school
• ben and may totally saved up money to take peter to the stark expo because he started getting a HUGE interest in tony when he became iron man. both ben and may encouraged his interest by actually surprising him with tickets to the opening of the expo when he was nine ( the same night he stood up to the hammer drone in iron man 2 ) 
• when peter was eleven, he was bullied for wearing bigger glasses ( bifocals to be exact since his eyes were terrible before he got his powers ) and he came home one day with a black eye. he told ben, who said not to tell may because she’d worry, and the two only hid it from her for an hour ( ben told her peter didn’t feel good so he was in his room most the night ) in which she walked in on peter brushing his teeth and saw the bruise, who in return marched to the school the next day and cussed out the teacher ( who peter had told about the bullying and they refused to say anything to the other kids ) and then the principal. 
• every year since he was five, they’ve gotten him a new star wars action figure for his birthday. sometimes lego, sometimes a collectible, or sometimes ben would give him an old one he had from when he was younger.
• for his fourteenth birthday ( after he learned about his abilities ) peter asked for a jacket for his birthday, that was it. ben went out with ten dollars and bought him one from wal-mart. ( one peter picked out ) he didn’t question it. and peter literally cut off the arms and drew a poorly created spider on the front of it.
• ben knew peter was spider-man before anyone else. he caught him rushing to put on his homemade suit after school one day, just as peter slid out the window without his mask on. later that day, peter tried to avoid ben but instead he’d found that ben washed his suit and folded it, ready for him to wear for the night. that’s the same night ben told peter “with great power comes great responsibility”.
• when peter was ten, ben went away to a convention with one of his friends in washington dc, leaving him alone with may for almost the first time since he was little. the two of them went out to thai almost two nights in a row, went rollerskating, and she let peter skip school that friday so they could go to staten island and eat at his favorite pizzeria.
• peter and may ( after ben’s death ) kept up the tradition of watching an old movie in peter’s mind every saturday night from ben’s movie collection ( which stayed untouched after he died ) peter wears one of his uncle’s old t-shirts from whatever movie they’re watching, may either makes lasagna or a pizza and they’ll watch one to four movies.
• the first anniversary of ben’s death, peter didn’t come out of his room for the entire morning, and may finally got him out and instead of being upset, they went through photo albums that ben made of them as peter grew up and reminisced over the good times
• peter literally ALWAYS goes to may first about problems, even when ben was alive, he’d go to her first ( unless it was about bullying )
• ben always got may flowers for her birthday, and the year he died, peter scavenged all over new york looking for a florist who’d give him a bouquet like the ones ben used to get, but ended up making one himself ( which wasn’t that great ) and she put them in a vase on the dining table.